Silliness is Golden

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Mon, Jun 12, 2006

I bet Utah could use more rain...

After a sodden Boston Pride Parade, Chris Gabrielli was out pressing the extremely damp flesh at the festival on Boston Commons.

"Is there anything in your platform about all this damn rain?" I asked him.

"Well, obviously it's all Mitt Romney's fault," he answered immediately. "Get rid of him and the weather will improve."

It's no 'long enough to reach the ground,' but as politician snappy comebacks go, I thought it was pretty good.

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Sat, Apr 15, 2006

Life imitates satire once again

Is this some sort of bizarre deliberate homage?

2004: The SNL version of the presidential debate contains the following:

"So your plan is to crush terrorism by coming in on Saturdays?" asked the character playing moderator Jim Lehrer.

The Bush character replied, with reluctance: "If that's what it takes."

2006: The Pentagon holds a
press conference for the defense of the Secretary of Defense:

"As far as Pete Pace is concerned, this country is exceptionally well-served by the man standing on my left," General Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, told reporters at the Pentagon. "Nobody, nobody works harder than he does to take care of the P.F.C.'s and lance corporals and lieutenants and the captains. He does his homework. He works weekends, he works nights.

"People can question my judgment or his judgment," he continued, "but they should never question the dedication, the patriotism and the work ethic of Secretary Rumsfeld."

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Sat, Feb 18, 2006

More annals of not-quite-apology

I'm fascinated with the headlines about Bush's statement about Cheney's statement to the press.

The LA Times, for example, opens with the sentence:

President Bush on Thursday broke his public silence about the vice president's shooting of a hunting companion, declaring that Dick Cheney had delivered "a very strong and powerful explanation" of the incident.

Strong and powerful? His explanation of how he accidentally shot his friend in the face and now feels kinda bad about it was strong and poweful? Isn't this carrying being on-message to the point of non-sequitor?

"Mr. President, how did you enjoy your breakfast?

"It was forceful and resolute! The eggs were firm! The coffee was bold! The toast was...uh...virile."

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Thu, Dec 15, 2005

Headline of the Year

From Australia's newspaper The Age:

Bush says Iraq war right, facts wrong

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Wed, Nov 30, 2005

Topical Quotes Roundup

Former Rep, "Duke" Cunningham is not a good man. As a congressman, he's shown himself to be a sleazy, corrupt, war-mongering bigot. On Monday he pled guilty to accepting millions of dollars in bribes from defense contractors. (Up until his day in court, he'd insisted he'd done nothing illegal. Last year, when the investigation into his antics started, Tom DeLay called him "an honorable man of high integrity.")

However, Cunningham's speech to the press that day was a rare and laudable thing--a genuine apology. Since I've written previously on how our moral absolutists weasel and dodge when it comes time to take responsibility for their own actions, it seems only right to give credit to an exception:

I'm resigning from the House of Representatives because I've compromised the trust of my constituents.

The truth is I broke the law, concealed my conduct and disgraced my office.

I know that I will forfeit my freedom, my reputation, my worldly possessions, and, most importantly, the trust of my friends and family.


The Boston Globe reports that the FCC wants to crack down on sexuality on cable television, opening with a typically lurid headline ("Smut on cable, satellite TV targeted"). For me, the most interesting part of the piece was a quote from FCC chairman Kevin Martin on why stricter regulations are needed:

You can always turn the television off and, of course, block the channels you don't want, but why should you have to?

Why should you be burdened with controlling what you view, when we can control it for you? Why indeed.


Ion, who still refuses to get a blog, because he's a Bad Person, pointed me to Orrin Hatch's remarks on a Fox News show:

The Democratic Party seems to be taken over by the Michael Moore contingent in their attitude toward Vietnam, and they continually call for a withdrawal of troops at a time when we haven't finished the job.

Apparently no-one commented on his error at the time, and the official transcript actually read 'Iraq' rather then 'Vietnam' until bloggers pointed out the flub.

History repeats itself--the first time as tragedy, the second time as Freudian slip.

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